Spondulicks Forever!

No, I'm not defecting (I never lost citizenship so repatriating is not the right word). But now I find that my library books are going to incur dues, I'm spending more money than allotted, I still have license and medical bills to pay when I get back... hope the hubby isn't having pizza and beer every night! I'm so penurious at home too!

Shockingly, despite all our fun and friends and adventure, I'm ready to return home, if the dream I had this am is any indication: my mom was ignoring me and having fun with her friends going off somewhere, and in a fit of pique I gave her the finger, said a sentiment associated with giving someone the finger, and added "I'm going back to Seattle!" I'm only here because the family whose house I'm squatting in extended their vacation.

Anathemic: "It's only money!" I love so much reconnecting with my friends and family at their leisure, seeing more of the area than I did when I didn't have a car or made one-day trips. The kid is rarely bored, having access to sports channels on cable television, his Don Cherry Rock'em Sock'em DVDs and other Canadian amusements. I'm sure I will regret at leisure the spending, but my spouse will thank me for bringing the tot up with me, the tot will thank me for an extended stay at his "homeland."

I used to be a technical editor. I am house-sitting. So far I've made subpar coffee with a coffeemaker when I'm used to a French press; had to go online to find why the dishwasher couldn't unlock to accept my touch-button command, and now find I cannot even play a DVD in the player supposedly connected to the 42" flatscreen LG monitor. I gave up and am watching through the computer. My life is a freaking Jacques Tati/Mr. Bean movie.

Everything I touch that is to be plugged in either doesn't function or requires an instruction manual.

I did manage to pair the phone with the Toyota Pious, so I can talk and make calls through the car. Waiting for some wag to say "Michael, this is KITT. Take the TransCanada Highway east until you are truly beyond Hope."

I sold some gold to finance gas, admissions, parking, and treats for twelve days. Then I learned there wouldn't be much left in the fridge where I was staying, so I must buy groceries. Today's a civic holiday.

Also DH is visiting us for a weekend, so tickets for bus fare, plus anniversary dinner. I'm telling myself it's the #1 city in Canada we're visiting, thus the expenses will be justified.

Speaking of former stomping grounds, went on an eyeball bender with baselle, and a 5K gumshoe through a Seattle neighborhood. We had good weather, eagle eyes with "limited" mental filters, and enough blood sugar to last us three hours. We finished up yesterday, just the two of us, to limit the chaos and take best advantage of her close-reading aptitude.

I've paid 6.6% of my total debt in seven months. I like seeing zeros in my mortgage balance, it's like smelling mint or lemon in a bathroom or kitchen: the illusion of accomplishment or in this case reduction.
Sometimes if I feel rich I will round down the payments to the nearest dollar.

Invested in a Motorola Surfboard cable modem now. DH said they were $80 at Fry's (his equivalent of the ball playplace one'd find at a McDonald's or IKEA), but I looked at RadioShack (they do have pretty good deals): alas, no pricing available as online supply was sold out. Thanks to the website's "find in stores" feature, I found one place within five miles of my zip code. I was accosted immediately by an obvious trainee -- we didn't find it on the shelf, he tried to interest me in a pricy modem-router combo. I stuck to my request, even sounding autistically persistent ("Gotta Watch Wapner! Yeah, definitely"), after minutes he retreated and emerged with my product. I looked it over and told him there was no price, I couldn't get the price online and I'd buy it only if it were under $90. Indeed RadioShack had the same price as Fry's so if you are ditching your rental modem, go to either place.

"See? All that work earned you a SALE. Aren't you proud?" The store manager was amused. He looked at the modem. "Replacing Comcast modem?" "Yes." "Gonna save $7/month rental? HIGH-FIVE!!" Yes, we high-fived, the RadioShack store manager and I. That was sweet: when we bought our $22K car, we got only handshakes from the dealership owner and the salesperson. Obviously the store manager was more emotionally invested in our purchase than was his trainee.

My bills, extending my financial freakout period to two months: $299.30 for optometrist exam, $223 annual insurance (expected), and $134 license plate tabs for scooter: yes, tabs more expensive than a year's worth of scooter fuel.

In the seating/Starbucks Coffee area of the nearest supermarket a man asked me for help getting him something to eat. I don't know why he singled me out when there were food workers right in front of him. Outside the parking lot was a panhandler. Outside an exit from the adjacent vehicle lubrication place was another panhandler. And on the northeast corner of an arterial, still on the same block with the three men I just described, was a person who held a Stranded sign. This person has been Stranded at that corner since May (I bet I could make some decent distance with 2.5 months of walking) but comes out once a month.

Do I live in a bad area, or an area with some nearby drug dealers, or is everyone in a residential neighborhood of an American city witnessing multiple panhandlers in one block within 0.25 miles of where they live?

Are there peak days and times for panhandlers? I hate thinking I have to plan my errands and paths to avoid them. The Safeway ten blocks up from me has no panhandlers, only shoplifters. The supermarket near me has both.

I have lived in Canadian cities and the panhandling was only bad in the downtown - just east of downtown areas, or by the liquor stores in the high-density parts of the city.

Thankfully it is asset debt, not credit card debt. This is my silver lining for July, my finance freakout month: auto insurance, big water bill, utilities due at the end of the month. Oh yeah, and I owe 45% less on my mortgage than I did when I bought, the principal portion is now over twice the interest portion.

How is it that I can easily calculate the densest and cheapest protein sources, but be in a quandary about what to do with the few dollars remaining from our bank accounts, or how to properly monitor our budget and discipline ourselves to have delayed gratification. I am probably overwhelmed by too many choices and my unwillingness to extend the amortization terms to pay even more cumulative interest.

Visit to optometrist went much better than orthodontist. I did some things differently: I had a bill from last week's visit I announced my intention to pay. I had my Health Spending Account debit card with me and asked if I could pay that way. When there was a discrepancy between what the front desk person heard and what I heard for my next scheduled visit, she offered to double-check. I was proven correct. And the optometrist told me he'd waive his personal services fee as I have a high-deductible Health Savings Account. Plus he gave me four free bottles of artificial tears to hydrate my eyes, so they don't burn when I put in my medication. So glad my assertiveness has improved. It also helps that the number of employees is smaller.

I'm also a little down on how hard 10-year mortgages are to find these days. I'm not into paying so much interest up front anymore.

I do feel like a mental defective with budgeting after reading CNN's collection of

McDonald's workers budgets: I should be able to outsave these people, some of whom have large children to feed. Our housing is about 3-4x what the profiled workers pay though.

What I learned:
- question all charges that seem incorrect. Do not assume that the orthodontist tells the assistant attending the appointment what to mark down on the charge sheet.

- my contribution to seeing this does not happen again is to ask for a statement I can pay in 15 or 30 days, and not pay immediately after appointment before orthodontist reviews day's billings.

Most peeved as my semi-annual auto insurance had just been deducted from my chequing account, and I have been very attentive to the remaining balance, which is under $60. It's a new car so my insurance is over $1100 per year. All it would take for us to go under would be a grocery visit from me and a $40 for lunch and gas and whatever money withdrawal from the spouse.
(He does this without asking. I have to tell him what the balance in our account is so he can choose either to go without or use a credit card.)

I removed my factual, indisputable Yelp review after an explanation and an apology from the orthodontist. I am glad I wrote it though, and let the staff beyond the financial coordinator read it, as now the office has discussed improvements to billing routines and the orthodontist has explained to her new hires how preservation of her top reputation she worked thirteen years for helps the office and is important, and perhaps that patients tend to assume the orthodontist directs the assistant what line item with fee to check off at the end of the appointment. I certainly assumed this.

$150 for six minutes the orthodontist spent sitting in her chair, three of them adjusting my child's retainer. Replacing it, with moulds, would have cost $300. I am so livid I could eat nails. Did they tell me in advance what I could be looking at for cost? No. Do automotive mechanics, widely maligned, give an estimate before going ahead with work? Yes. Do automotive mechanics charge $50/minute to play with a plastic and wire apparatus? No.

This is worse than when my dentist charged me $77 to spend five minutes with him, in which I asked a question he could not answer. That's it: no investigation of the mouth, no rinse, fluoride, X-rays.

The three bright spots to my day: chocolates to end our gruelling Puzzled Pint night, crab pasta, and I did not spontaneously combust.

Update: The orthodontist called to apologize and reiterated I should not have been charged at ALL. I told her the assistant who attended her session with my son witnessed all the work and filled out the charge sheet, so without being told by any staff I had no idea this was a no-fee visit. I'd paid $3200 three years ago to cover work, and although they prepared me for the possibility of paying for a new mould and a new retainer, this was NOT what happened. But they billed me for that anyway.

At the end of the day when the orthodontist reviewed her appointments and charges, she saw the billing error. The financial coordinator e-mailed me about the apologies, but that does not excuse the fact that the cheque was deposited immediately upon payment and not at the end of the day, when the orthodontists have approved the charges for procedures performed that day.

Surprised, but then again medical billing makes no sense to me, unless it is single-payer. $117. It seems paltry somehow: coffee for a year, one fifth of my semi-annual car insurance payment, not even one week's worth of groceries. It'll probably go to the tot's "fishing camp." Don't laugh: halibut, salmon, clams, mussels and oysters hang out here. That's good eating.

The Spotted Pony is no more, so I shan't be seeing baselle there anymore, alas.

Have fun with Independence Day.

Great Men Repeat Themselves.
Back when the US had better things to do than to spy on its citizens and tax-paying foreign nationals, a love letter from a Canadian. And one from Albert Brooks.

If you're worried about these offerings from a ferner, they're tame and pro-American.

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Lost 1.2 kg (2.6 lbs) and am now under 160 lbs! I'm beginning to think I can get back to 140...

I drove us up to a big beachside park one county north (again), and we fortuitously drove right past an artesian well, so we stocked our water bottles with fresh

spring water en route. We hiked down to the beach area, saw a BNSF train go past, mucked around, and then walked back up close to a mile, uphill. DH and I are so in need of cardio workouts: my uterus loves me, but my legs do not.

Not free, but we visited the retail outlet of a successful ice cream wholesaler company out in the boonies, which delighted DH (Kentucky Bourbon flavour) and DS (cookie dough).

My lungs are still recovering. Not used to doing that much work. Interesting to see if my energy and metabolism spike.

I may ask FreeCycle populace for some large jugs with lids so I can get more spring water for drinking. Our county water is chlorinated and fluoridated.
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Halfway to go until the Dirtnap for Dollars 2013 ends. Still in the lead but it's tiny, not like last year's runaway stretch. Very slow first six months!

Yesterday afternoon DS and I ventured to the rural county up north for strawberry picking. The conditions were perfect: sunny weather with ripe, gorgeous red fruit. I found the best rows to pick in, getting five pounds within 45 minutes, and I was selective about my berries too. The boy managed one pound.

DS found a woman's credit card so we're going to the credit union's head branch up there to return it. A quick internet check shows the woman lives close to the berry farm and the credit union, but it's safer to return it to the credit union as she may have moved.

We went to an old-time ice cream shoppe in the nearest small town for Coke floats. I hardly ever have pop, once a month, but on a hot dry day I well understand how Coca-Cola got to be popular. It doesn't take much to send DS into ecstasy: baseball, ice cream, and sunny days.

Our dinner expenditure came to under $10: I was busy washing and hulling the strawberries for freezing and didn't have time for cooking, so I made chicken salad which we had on croissants. I like no-cook summer meals.

List of Free Science books

online. Science books for the beginner here.
Math books here.

True Cost of Our Vices. I have some quibble with this: no setting for the one glass of wine every two weeks or once a month, and if one 8 ounce drip coffee at home costs $1.35 (2 oz of coffee may cost that much, but ground and percolated gives you three cups, doesn't it?) then my family is spending too much on it. Also assumes 2-3x/week minimum fast food option, 7 lotto tickets/week minimum option, 2-3 cans of pop/week minimum option. So $503 annually of our money goes to coffee sweet and hot, and maybe $200 for the wine, fast food, pop and lotto combined in a year.

If frugal movie night isn't even Netflix or the local library, you'll like Flavorwire's list of the 50 Great Movies you can legally watch for free!
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How I saved money today:
1. Learned that our toll road sticker was not deactivated when we sold the car, even though the car was removed from our account. My stomach churned when I saw our state Dept. of Transportation automatic withdrawal of $30. We went in person to a customer office with our account printouts showing we were being billed for someone else's car. When I provide the Proof of Sale Receipt (I'll do that tomorrow) the charges get reversed. Fortunately only $4 worth of tolls had been incurred over the last six months.
2. Bought a clarinet for $40 instead of $125. The seller even had it out where she could find it easily.
This is going to save us $$ on monthly rentals. Boy is sulking because it looks used, but we told him Artie Shaw and Louis Armstrong did not have new instruments when they were preteens.
3. Scrabble Club director kicked in $3 addition to the $15 domain renewal fee I incurred. Coffee or lotto ticket?

The lesser of two evils won the Stanley Cup. I am celebrating with a Pop-Tart, because I'm broke.

On Sunday, we were shopping for groceries racking up the big sales so we could get a $7-off coupon, gas rewards, etc. when the woman ahead of us said "oh this coupon expires today and I won't be able to use it. You have it." We saved 40% off our grocery bill and now have 20 cents/gallon gas rewards. Whee!

Remember a few posts back my contribution about privacy? I just learned about the Deep Web and it feels like 1992 all over again as I look at this strange, brave new world. I'm excited about what I learn: probably because there are no cookies, pop-up ads, etc. It's as if my

third eye was decalcified!

I am listening to an album put out by an obscure Japanese psych band (oooh, so hipster!) and it is so good it makes me forget about Talk Talk. The band is Apryl Fool and their bassist went on to become an important part of Yellow Magic Orchestra and did some other excellent solo projects. Terrific rainy day music.

I am making a list of the diners in Vancouver I'm going to eat at, and the books at the Vancouver Public Library that are not carried down south (London publishers). I get to take the car up with me which is great because there is no bus transport where I'll be staying.

Researching bitcoin. And as I just typed that my PC emitted some loud alarm type noise... weird.

I had something immensely long to share, but figure only four of you read this, and only one of you would actually manage the whole thing, therefore I have given it another

page. This week, with the return of some bad habits, I find myself incapable of making a decision when all of my options do not rescue me from malaise and discomfort.
Therefore I must identify and label my malaise and remove it momentarily so I can make decisions.

I restarted YNAB, and I'm not doing as badly as I thought. Except the gold and silver declines are an especial gutpunch today.

Much of this is going to be "duh" to you black-belt budgeters out there, but hey, maybe some of my "duh" is novel to the white-belts so it evens out.

Buying online.
I decided to do this with vitamins, a CD I've wanted for years, and a pen, and I saved $37, leaving me with $64 outlay, including tax. Sure I've purchased online before, but only items I could not get locally.

Riding a bike. When next I move to a place that is not within a kilometre from a major commercial shopping area, post office, community centre, library, 24-hour supermarket, and not really hilly, I would ride a bike. But walking a kilometre is no big deal. Unless it is uphill and I am gasping for breath when I am 2/3 of the way up.

The Paul Mckenna will-power trick
The TV hypnotist has a clever trick to kill cravings. In a nutshell, you squeeze your thumb and finger together as tight as you can then think of a place you would most like to be or a moment you would most like to achieve. Hold the thought and repeat. Then every time you get a craving for drink, cigarettes [British slang was used for this which means something some Americans may find offensive], food, whatever, you squeeze the thumb and finger and recall the place or moment. The idea is that you have more chance of achieving your goal by recalling your aims and foregoing the craving.

Water down juices
Tap or filtered water is best, but have you ever taken spirulina powder with water? Gag gag gag. I aim for 28 grams juice for every 140 grams water. 80% of my beverages is water, flavoured with lemon and lime, or with apple cider vinegar, or Vitamin C.

Reuse bath towels.
Sounds gross at first, but think about it – you are clean when you get out of the shower. Hang up towels after each use to thoroughly dry, and only add them to the dirty clothes pile after every three or four uses. I have to open the window for the towels to thoroughly dry.

Baking soda.
I've posted this before, but it is so great. I washed my hair with baking soda last night: the argan oil shampoo and conditioner I have at present tend to collect oil at the roots. I conditioned the ends with coconut oil, bathed in lavender epsom salts, used some sea salt in a scrub with unscented liquid castile soap and a few drops of rose essential oil, squirted a solution of baking soda and water on my scalp, and had a cheapo beauty treatment. My hair is so soft and clean this morning.

Borrow this book from a library, or put it on your wishlist for someone to buy for you, the adventurous and keen DIY homeowner:
Save $20,000 with a Nail: More Than 1,900 Practical Tips for a Problem-Free Home by Reader's Digest.

What I'd like to try
Swapping bread for eggs with people. I know of two families who raise chickens. I have a child who'd like to experiment with making pastry and bread products. One loaf of bread for one dozen eggs: branch out into nonwheat flours like spelt, bulgur, rice, coconut...

Metal Detecting
Just learned there is a Cascade Treasure club in our region. Sure the detector itself is expensive, but think of all the hiking in the state parks and city parks, beaches... Maybe time-share the metal detector. Sure the $400 outlay for a detector from Sears might not be saving money, but you get a hobby, a workout, and the serendipitous thrill from treasure.

Speculate on Bitcoin
There was a rise-and-fall on Bitcoin speculation recently. I must investigate more on this, and maybe talk with my investing friend with this.

DIY Products
Oh man, I just bought some Method hand soap and now I wish I hadn't now that I know I can make my

own

What off-the-beaten-track tricks have you learned of and/or use?

Found eleven cents walking from my parked car to the salon, hoping for a bang trim. I joke with my kid that we use the found money to pay down our six-figures-left-of-the-decimal mortgage.

How can I go on with my hair for six-seven weeks just fine and then all of a sudden my bangs and the condition of my hair need some TLC? The salon was closed so the spending is postponed. I never really save money: I just reallocate and postpone my spending. I bought one bulb of garlic. My spouse took off to go buy some Twizzlers so there goes my barely spent any money day. Why do I have money bulimia?

Buying a clarinet for my boy on Saturday. The cost equals four months' rental, and the clarinet has had six weeks' use, so I think it's a good deal. It's definitely for the same music experience level as my boy.

I know I am old and crotchety: today's mainstream music all sounds the same, I gripe about the dumbing down of society, so maybe I should fully accept my age and seriously consider an adjustable rate mortgage. What is sad is that two years ago we thought we were doing really well to refinance our mortgage, shaving 9% off the mortgage principal and interest but keeping the payoff date, and now our spending scrapes up against our budget like muffintop belly fat on a tight pair of jeans.

Found the best savings out of my 2-for-1 supplement coupon at a favourite store.

Saved 37% from my Safeway groceries order last night.

Will be buying a clarinet for the kid at a cost that equals about four months' rental cost.

We were at a national chain pet supply store yesterday looking for flea control treatments. We didn't do our research, so looking at hooked cards reading "take this card to the register to purchase the product" didn't have the ingredient and application info we were looking for. So we wrote down the three most likely products to purchase, went to the library for a 15-minute express internet session to look at reviews and product information, then found that online retailers had cheaper prices, so we ordered online.
I'm convinced that national chain stores are largely for the "buy it now" crowd who've researched their products ahead of time. If I did not know about Hartz products making animals really sick, I'd have been less concerned about the toxicity of flea control products and their applications and would have purchased the cheapest product at the national chain.

This one boggles me: ordering a math workbook from Canada was cheaper than ordering a math workbook from the US. Shipping and handling was $5 less from Canada, and there was no tax.

67 minutes my boy's in for summer vacation. I am determined he will not loll around in his room playing games all the time, and when I finish "I, Claudius" I can set an example for him.

Considering the principal paid since April 1999 on the house is a letdown: 170 mortgage payments, less than 46% principal paid. I know people who refinance for thirty year terms, they can't be expecting to make mortgage payments in their seventies, wouldn't it be a comedown to start at a low principal payment and have tens of thousands of dollars in interest? Why don't they just go for 5/1 ARMs?


Also not working this summer, but will sharpen my database skills. I'm housesitting, or at least accepted an invitation to housesit, up in a Vancouver suburb for a week-and-a-half: my idea of a good cheap vacation. Dunno if the boy is coming up with me.

Two weeks ago I learned my city is one of two hosts to a monthly event where teams solve puzzles. That monthly event transpired last night, at a bar disclosed in a video puzzle of "Twin Peaks" clips.

I was by my lonesome, but the puzzle coordinator set me up with a friendly couple and away we went, solving puzzles of varying difficulty (the last one was fiendish: I used a chart to complete it). I liked that the couple was bright and capable of solving, but was happy to cut its solving time by adding a third person.

We actually did finish 2.5 hours afterwards (the couple was there for its second time), with correct answers. I don't know if we won, probably not, but the couple was so thrilled they paid for my snack and my drink. I insisted at least on a tip.

I will bring someone with me next time though. I do so much better on these puzzles with an extra brain.

If it weren't for the fuel-up ($38) and the groceries ($28) I would have had a no-spend day.

Update: Just fetched the mail. The credit union says it had overcharged us for credit report fees in our July 2011 mortgage and are refunding us $298.14!

I've got to label my self-hypnosis recordings and play that money magnet one daily for a few weeks...

If you have a Cuisinart or KitchenAid chopper, you can grind regular sugar into superfine for use in recipes. Lavender tea cookies and homemade strawberry lemonade are two such summer recipes that call for superfine sugar.

This one is from Dr. Robert Lustig: reduce the quantity of sugar a baking recipe calls for by one-third -- you won't miss it.

(THIS IS NOT SPAM, MY 7 YEAR ANNIVERSARY WAS THIS WEEK!)

No 100% privacy, true, but these are free and effective resources full of applications for the freedom-loving, privacy-protecting disillusioned netizen:

Crunchbang.org Tips for privacy

World's most private search engine - ixquick.com

School of Privacy - be safe and secure online.

Cryptocat instant messaging that's encrypted, so only you and your fellow communicant can read your messages.

These are free of course.

Sorry I was misled into thinking National Donut Day was Free Donut Day. They were free if you went to Krispy Kreme but we didn't go there. Donuts taste really fantastic when I have them once every couple of months. I know, I am a bad Canadian. I need the CanAm kid to remind me how trips north are incomplete without a pilgrimage to Tim Horton's (I never went to a Tim Horton's until I moved down here).

it's the heat. I was going to rant but by the third sentence I know someone out there would take offense whether any was truly meant, so here's a vent. This has nothing to do with anyone that I know of on SavingAdvice. You'd have to be a misanthropic hostile hypersensitive fragile person to take this personally.

I resent having now to pay for content I didn't have to pay for 10-20 years ago: Usenet, region-restricted content, virtual private network subscriptions so I can see region-restricted content.

Naively I did not mind using hotmail and gmail for accounts because I thought that ads were used to make $ for the cost of the e-mail accounts. I had ad-blocking software so who cared. Then the government, who hates whistleblowers and anyone trying to get from point a to point b without having a GED failure in uniform and gloves clumsily making doctor-touchy moves, collects cellphone data (I don't care so much: the US govt can't collect my Canada-phone data) and who knows what from our e-mail accounts.

So I head to TOR. I get Vidalia bundle, and think oh maybe a tormail account too. But the Thunderbird mail reader from Mozilla does not work when I use TOR's help instructions. I try binreader to read usenet for free, but binreader isn't working for the same reason Thunderbird isn't: something about proxy server connections being refused even though I checked my firewall settings and allowed each new program to pass the firewall, and usenet isn't much for free anymore. All the info is scattered in internet forums.

And I'm sick of the "like us on Facebook" requirement for sweepstakes companies used to just have us mail in for. I have only one person on my FB friendlist, someone who lives in another country (not Canada) and I've had great conversations and a lengthy (25-year) friendship. No companies, no fan pages. Just trying to be ultradull.

I used to be all up in the net. For twenty years maybe. Now I think I either want to be on the Canadian spying side of it, or mostly out of it. Or maybe I want to know how to configure SSL, know my transport layers and protocols and ports, port forwarding, encryption, VPN tunneling, and go übergeek so I can talk to smelly, fuzzyfaced Utilikilt™ dweebs uncomfortably at schmoozing parties and they wouldn't talk to me anyway because my center of gravity has changed and I have boobies and a ring of gold on my left hand. I hate how much I have to learn to rise above the teeming mass of "data" and reclaim a moue of the fun and information I used to have back when the internet was cool.

Oh and if you've read this far today: almost had a no-spend-day. Splurged on frozen custard. I did not have any caffeine today and oddly my body has not suffered from withdrawal. I guess if you have half-cup four times a week before 10 am you're not exactly a jitterbug.

For the second time ever in my household's history, I paid the mortgage late. Two days late, so hoping for no penalty. I thought I paid it on Saturday online, then I got distracted with about six open tabs on my browser, and it timed out.

I suspect my brain needs more training on how to focus on more than a handful of numbers going down at a time.

My next challenge is to live on $50 a day for twelve days.

I lost six pounds this month. My eating habits are improved (four meals a day, 0.5 cup coffee a day if at all), and I'm strength training 3 days a week, doing mild cardio 4 days.

Don't wanna talk about my spending. I went a little overboard with supplements, but:

- I can sleep again when I wake up around 4-5 am
- I do feel less stressed
- I can fit into most of my pants now
- I lost 1.5 inches on the hips and 2 inches on the waist

I'm not done yet, but I have made a good start. MyFitnessPal keeps me going.

HELOC is down for now,
found creme fraiche for $2.99, plus one dime in the self-checkout kiosk.
Lost five pounds since May 1 on Mary Dan Eades and Michael R Eades 6-week cure for middle-age middle.

Early morning waking habit not due to cortisol spikes.

Frightened about moving. There should be some apartments or rental where I can keep two cats, right? If they stay indoors and quiet? (One I'm going to kennel, maybe, because she stays outdoors except to eat). Also the whole cleaning and painting thing. But at least I have some of my energy back.

I have had some sips (1 espresso at 8:30 am, two sips of Ikea coffee, 1.5 ounce regular) coffee. I can pretty much leave it for now, especially if drinking a full coffee is giving me vertigo and palpitations.

I had my first no-caffeine day in close to twenty years yesterday. I did not slap anyone. It is past 1 pm and I still have not had coffee, nor, weirdly, desired it. My spouse likes having his two cups a day.

I would be lying if I told you I had no withdrawal symptoms. The third day of tapering off coffee I had excess saliva and a runny nose. What was manageable was 1 cup of coffee, then 1/2 cup the next day, and 1/4 cup the day after with one half-cup green tea in the afternoon.
Day four was the caffeine-free day.

And I found the ring I thought I lost, in the bathroom cabinet, behind some supplement bottles

Haven't seen any waistline reduction yet, but I did fit into my Lilly Pulitzer (RIP) pants today.

My starting food plan weight is 170 lbs. My mother was only that heavy when she was on cancer drugs. Some US charts say the ideal weight for me should be at 136 lb, but 146-150 lbs would look good on me.

If I can lose ten pounds, I'll start to think I actually have some control over my life and create positive outcomes.

12-year no-fee mortgage rate dropped 9%, to 3.4%. Our credit union does not seem to offer 10-year mortgage products.

Well, a protein-heavy food plan designed to shed pounds. The 6-week plan calls for caffeine withdrawal. I limited myself to one cup before noon on Wednesday, and had headaches in the night and the next morning. I took 1/2 cup of coffee to get rid of the headache. I am not happy with my weight, nor with having to get bigger belts because using the belts I have result in raw red rims around the waist.

All the supplements and protein shakes are not good for the food budget, but so far the energy has been up, except for the headache, and the dysfunctional sleep patterns. I met with my doctor today to discuss this, after weeks of attempting to combat insomnia. Could by thyroid, could be depression, could be light, or a combination of the three. I tried valerian, both in alcohol and glycerin-base tinctures. Does not work with me.

What else: can't find my ring from Wednesday. Some s#!t keyed our car when we were in Lynnwood -- don't know why, we weren't in a handicap parking spot, we were within the white demarcation lines for the spot. Boy I wish I could understand people here: I would be happier and less inclined to avoid them. And the caffeine withdrawal headache: only an icepick behind the eye sensation, not the thick, bloodsoaked foamnoodles pulsating in the noggin, like I had the last time I went without caffeine.

This is not a good week. Except for listening to Foxygen and the Allah-las. And getting Office 2013 for $10: that was pretty cool.

I am not saving money. We had our ducts and dryer vent cleaned. I bought a duvet cover from Target to replace our old cotton ink-stained one. I felt like I was in a bed-and-breakfast (good). Then we'll fix the lawnmower, put new plants in front. But I don't care about saving money right now. Right now I need to experience the worthwhileness of life, as a respite from defeat, anxiety and lethargy.

We did get rid of some furniture, and the house has some regenerative energy. That may sound woo to you. I'm just happy that I have energy, little that it is.

Resolve to move is weakening, thanks to an anomalous circumstance where our market value, in get this, a 82 Walkscore neighborhood, in a city that had 10+% increase in market value over the 12 months, is dropping. I vowed I would not move unless our market value was over 65%. I have an accelerated mortgage, and that's probably the only factor slowing the deceleration.

I spent most of the week being gutted, despite the beautiful weather. I have a recurring dream, which is actually as common as the rotting teeth dream or showing up to class for exams despite never having attended lectures or seminars, of my dead mother having faked her death, and then coming back many years later, only to tell us she is dying for real. It's funny only if you hated your mother, or completely got over the grieving process. I am none of the above. Also gutted by the slap of modern-day apartment/house rentals' "pet rents" (deposits I understand, but $100-$200/month/cat? GMAFB.) which is not affordable on one salary.

So I smarten up and go back to work, maybe work a whole bunch of jobs when the house is cleaned up and decluttered, so I don't feel trapped by some idjit's untrained loud animal; or I refinance, take $$ out of the mortgage, and go buy an effin' house.

I have a nine-dimensional inner life, it seems. I only find out how crazy things are in there when I attempt to talk them out with my soulmate.

In-laws gave me $150 for birthday. I want to use the money wisely, but already it is trickling from the wallet for coffees and gifts for my sister-in-law. It bugs me that I feel I am no good for anybody, and that's probably the root of why I dream my mom faked her death to spend time with her third husband instead without having to be a parent, and this affects how I spend my days. I want the $$ to be divided by "this is a sign that I accept myself completely as I am" and "this is a sign that I am willing to make my life better" expenditures. Does that make sense?

I gave up YNAB for no reason other than being at the low ebb of vitality.

In Jeopardy! news, I met someone who'd been on the show and actually won a game. I sought her out, she was very accommodating and cheerful. Still don't know that I'll be called, but better I know this stuff and maybe get chosen for a trivia team at bars, than blank out on "College Team Nicknames" and "Organic Chemistry" and "NBA Retired Jerseys" on national television.

US of Archie - Jughead and Veronica are teaching me US History. Good thing I'm not using "Gilligan's Planet" to teach me about astronomy.

Also, have experimented with baking soda, honey, almond oil, and essential oils for cleaning the face. My Target-braned reasonable facsimile of Cetaphil is empty, and I am between the ages of when my aunt and my mom got cancer, so am avoiding parabens. I read that the above-mentioned concoction would cost about $15/year. Darn cheap!

I am, like any empathetic and correct-thinking person living in the US, appalled and saddened by the murders, maiming and mayhem of yesterday. I am touched that the good people of Boston opened their homes to the dispossessed and grieving, and the blood banks are full of donations and heavily scheduled. I remember Mister Rogers saying "look for the people trying to help" when these horrible things happen.

That is not the tasteless or "too soon" part.

I don't think it's tasteless to wonder "Who would do this?" and DO think it's hasty still to publicly point fingers and scapegoat people and groups while emotions are strong.

Is it tasteless to discuss in private theories as to why this horrendous act would happen? Are people who hold those discussions in private, and not, say, posting on Twitter or blogs or Facebook their pet theories sick and unempathetic?

Because my tiny brain has made a couple of connections. I'm not sharing them here or anywhere public because they aren't useful and seem too much like "betting". (I participate in dead pools and think they are fun and profitable. Dead pools are totally not trying to destroy the spirit and freedom of a nation.) I don't share political opinions here, and I am not a full-time detective or even a licensed private investigator. I don't claim to know a scintilla of what the Boston Police and the FBI know.
But I'm wired to detect patterns as an investigative/analytic sort, and with the scant knowledge the news media and law enforcement agencies chose to divulge, I am trying to make connections.

Is anyone else privately trying to do this too? Trying to figure out why this would happen and what sort of human refuse would make this happen? Trying to make sense of a devastating event?