Over-Sharing, or So Upclose My Nosehairs are TickledIím probably the only person who needs this, but then again until last week I did not know that 70% of the people in the country in which I currently live are on prescription medications, a lot of which are anti-depressants.
I took time off work for two reasons:
1. Working full-time, cooking, shopping and volunteering and yet not being a single parent was tiresome, especially with a commute that was regularly 50 minutes.
2. From age 7 to 11, I was moved around from city to city by my single parent mom who was coping not only with high inflation but the occasional missing child support payment from my dad. When my son was aged 7 to 11, I vowed to give him some stability and a richer, deeper sense of love and security.
Itís almost time for me to go back to work, but being in IT my skills are out of date. One skill I am determined to master though, is the ability to feel safe and comfortable despite lifeís inevitable hardships, drawbacks and challenges. I also learned that the majority of discomfort is self-manufactured.
From Marc Schoenís Your Survival Instinct is Killing You I am sharing fifteen steps. For many of you this is ďduhĒ but for developmentally delayed people like me, or people firmly entrenched in the ďpiss the other guy off first before he pisses you offĒ like my brother, these fifteen are not evident. Fortunately for me my mind is broad enough to entertain proposed solutions to whatever is ailing me.
1. Take a technology time-out. My sonís PC freezes him out after two hours. Iíd benefit from a maximum of two hours myself.
2. Value and Tolerate Imperfection.
3. Limit the Flood of Sensory Input. Schizophrenic Roky Erickson, of the legendary psychedelic Texas band The Thirteenth Floor Elevators, had five television sets turned on, some channels of static hiss, before he could relax. Iím used to having five to eleven tabs open in Google Chrome, while a movie is playing on my DVD drive. I could live a quieter life. Rare jaunts out of the house does not always mean a slower life.
4. Chill at Bedtime. Iíve started listening to self-hypnosis and binaural beats at bedtime. When I can, I remember to leave the PC two hours before bedtime.
5. S-L-O-W down. I slow down on city arterials and side streets, but only because the woman who blames herself for everything will not live with herself should her speeding and lack of attention cause harm to a cyclist or pedestrian or another motorist. I donít know how the people driving distracted can live with themselves.
6. Stop Procrastinating. This is a big one I am needing to conquer.
7. Stop Trying to Get it All Done. See #6.
8. Embrace Uncertainty. When I get #6 to #8 conquered I can re-enter the job market.
9. Kick the Anger Habit. My son and I were at a park earlier today, I was at a bench, with lots of other vacant benches available, and two people approached my bench, dropped their stuff down, started playing rap music. I said ďI wasnít aware this bench was spoken forĒ and the woman started swearing at me as I left. I moved to another bench, and the couple soon left the bench and stood fifteen feet away from me, still playing their loud music. I moved to a third bench on the opposite side of the park and called the Park Ranger Hotline to see what, if anything, the Parks employees considered harassment and what advice they had for a park visitor who believed she was being harassed. I am glad I chose not to escalate the confrontation, as I donít yet have the poise to best mentally ill people, especially when they outnumber me. When I learn to best emotionally crippled and mentally ill people without getting knifed, Tasered, or shot to death I can go to work.
10. Keep a regular Schedule. The only thing I have done for a regular schedule so far is know by 4:45 pm what is for dinner, and to give my son his sixth grade math workbook assignments.
11. Expand the Comfort Zone. Maybe improv or acting, or a new food.
12. Take a Breather. Breath-centered meditation.
13. Delay Your Need for Gratification. As a budgeter, this is almost second nature to me. I delayed my car purchase for what, three years?
14. Exercise: Pilates, indoor cycling, Zumba, Qigong. Yoga too.
15. Hypnosis sessions 1-2 minutes, two to three times a day to reset inner rhythm or frequency.