Home > Gems from Secrets of a Stingy Scoundrel, so far

Gems from Secrets of a Stingy Scoundrel, so far

August 8th, 2012 at 11:59 pm

book by Phil Villarreal.
I do not think I would make a good stingy scoundrel. I have two watches, even though Phil says they are archaic nuisances, one for "take me seriously" and another for "ooh I like colours!". Also, he says tan lines are annoying, but he is from a warm-weather locale where drying clothes outside yearlong is a good idea. As a Cascadian (PNW), a tan line for me is like a 1963 silver dime. I like the colours and styles of these watches more than I do the phone's and the mp3 player's, and today's hi-tech thug just doesn't rip off arms at the elbow after some guileless person responds with the time @ the thug's request. Mp3 players and mobile phones can be snatched away.

Other disagreements I have with Phil, but this book is a collection of hilarious and ethically questionable ideas. This is what I have amassed from the first 34 pages.

Frugal Virus/Disease Busting Shots of hard liquor or almonds, grapes or onions chase your cough away!
Apples battle light depression.
Eat lemon slices to speed riddance of a common cold.
If your toenails are cracked and discolored by fungus piss on them. Or pour vinegar on them. I cannot pee on my toes: I am not that limber.

Price Matching Fun! What you need: stacks of sticky notes, pen and glossy grocery store ads. Affix Post-It to non-store-brand item, then name your own price. Use the pen to jot down the price-matched figure you are willing to pay. Feign authenticity by adding a random competing store name to each sticky note.

Things you never have to buy: honey, paper napkins, soy sauce, jam, relish, pepper. Just go help yourself from a fast food place or supermarket deli/food court.

Never visit a garage sale before noon on Sundays. I am totally going to follow this from now on.

Relationship/budget saver This one is for the young men, the ones who pretend they don't read my blog. WNBA. Varsity games. Minor leagues. Instant score with the GF (if you are hetero), and better for your budget.

Keep a spray bottle of diluted dish soap on hand then blast ants to oblivion.

4 Responses to “Gems from Secrets of a Stingy Scoundrel, so far”

  1. baselle Says:

    Speaking of
    Text is someone and Link is
    someone who probably peed on his toes....

  2. My English Castle Says:

    Oh dear--naked and stinky lying along the highway. But perhaps without toenail fungus--although other types of fungus.....?

  3. PauletteGoddard Says:

    "The Lord Loves a Drunk" Offroad Wild Man Tour. Wait for it.

  4. baselle Says:

    Never too late to plan for 2013, if you know what I mean.

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