Mindboggling.
Answer: "One's all I need to be a parent. One's all I can comfortably afford."
"Why? Do you and your husband work at McDonald's?"
"Daycare is $900 a month."
I don't really feel like saying we can't afford to live here on my husband's income, nor do I feel like explaining that he doesn't feel any impetus to earn more money, or that I earn in any given month 80-120% of what he earns: being a single wage-earner family would be a big drop. I usually shoot back: "are you going to pay for it?"
Usually the people who ask me why I don't have more children are the people who gripe about families breeding more than they need to/can afford. Or are from countries with subsidized daycare. Or are in their sixties.
"When are you having another child?"
March 10th, 2007 at 01:02 am
March 10th, 2007 at 01:07 am 1173488841
March 10th, 2007 at 02:30 am 1173493822
March 10th, 2007 at 04:08 am 1173499684
Also, my cousin was unable to conceive for twelve years and it hurt her so much that people were always asking her when she was going to have kids. She finally adopted and then got pregnant and people asked her if she was going to give the adopted baby back! As if! I just don't get the rudeness of some people.
You don't know what you are stepping into when you ask those questions, you don't know what people have been through or what they are willing to go through. You don't know if they are able to conceive or can't afford it or lost the parts due to tumors, or don't wish to make it harder on the one they can afford by having another and scraping by all the time. And its not your business to know unless they are willing to share it.
All that just to empathize. Your choices are yours and they are no one else's business! I guess this is my hot button issue.
March 10th, 2007 at 04:27 am 1173500827
Then I had to move.
March 10th, 2007 at 05:16 am 1173503797
March 10th, 2007 at 06:23 am 1173507829
**baselle, Chas Addams would be proud of you!
March 10th, 2007 at 07:09 am 1173510586
March 10th, 2007 at 05:35 pm 1173548134
I have actually been annoyed that some of my "one child" friends get really defensive, when I Talk about anything good about having 2 kids. But I am starting to understand why with time. Gosh I never thought or said they should have another kid - to each their own. But over time you see how these people are constantly questioned about their decisions - gosh I Would be defensive too. IT actually seems to be quite a common decision in more expensive areas so I am not sure why people still get so much flak. I probably know more people who only intend to have 1 child than otherwise.
But reminds me, My mother wanted my sister and I closer and we were 6 years apart. My dh's family thinks all of this is very controllable (even with all the miscarriages and a stillbirth even between them all). My MIL to this day still says it is so awful we are 6 years apart. HELLO!!!!!! Lord knows my mom tried her best to have us closer together. Ironically, they are so know-it-all but they have a relative who can not bear her own child. I find it ironic that one of the judgemental clan can't even have a child. As if a slap upside the head that no you can not control these things. Anyway, I know too many people going through fertility treatments to have a 2nd child to ever ask anyone what they are waiting for. & I guess I don't see what is so wrong with having 1 child. Sorry people are such idiots!
March 10th, 2007 at 05:38 pm 1173548326
I have actually been annoyed that some of my "one child" friends get really defensive, when I Talk about anything good about having 2 kids. But I am starting to understand why with time. Gosh I never thought or said they should have another kid - to each their own. But over time you see how these people are constantly questioned about their decisions - gosh I Would be defensive too. IT actually seems to be quite a common decision in more expensive areas so I am not sure why people still get so much flak. I probably know more people who only intend to have 1 child than otherwise.
But reminds me, My mother wanted my sister and I closer and we were 6 years apart. My dh's family thinks all of this is very controllable (even with all the miscarriages and a stillbirth even between them all). My MIL to this day still says it is so awful we are 6 years apart. HELLO!!!!!! Lord knows my mom tried her best to have us closer together. Ironically, they are so know-it-all but they have a relative who can not bear her own child. I find it ironic that one of the judgemental clan can't even have a child. As if a slap upside the head that no you can not control these things. Anyway, I know too many people going through fertility treatments to have a 2nd child to ever ask anyone what they are waiting for. & I guess I don't see what is so wrong with having 1 child. Sorry people are such idiots!
Oh & the same definitely holds true for childless couples. Frankly it's probably good to give the earth a bit of a break. I don't see why everyone has to pro-create.
March 10th, 2007 at 05:40 pm 1173548450
I have actually been annoyed that some of my "one child" friends get really defensive, when I Talk about anything good about having 2 kids. But I am starting to understand why with time. Gosh I never thought or said they should have another kid - to each their own. But over time you see how these people are constantly questioned about their decisions - gosh I Would be defensive too. IT actually seems to be quite a common decision in more expensive areas so I am not sure why people still get so much flak. I probably know more people who only intend to have 1 child than otherwise.
But reminds me, My mother wanted my sister and I closer and we were 6 years apart. My dh's family thinks all of this is very controllable (even with all the miscarriages and a stillbirth even between them all). My MIL to this day still says it is so awful we are 6 years apart. HELLO!!!!!! Lord knows my mom tried her best to have us closer together. Ironically, they are so know-it-all but they have a relative who can not bear her own child. I find it ironic that one of the judgemental clan can't even have a child. As if a slap upside the head that no you can not control these things. Anyway, I know too many people going through fertility treatments to have a 2nd child to ever ask anyone what they are waiting for. & I guess I don't see what is so wrong with having 1 child. Sorry people are such idiots!
Oh & the same definitely holds true for childless couples. Can be just as bad - the same reasons - gosh - just such a personal thing...
March 10th, 2007 at 06:04 pm 1173549885
March 10th, 2007 at 06:05 pm 1173549941
March 10th, 2007 at 06:06 pm 1173549993
March 11th, 2007 at 01:08 am 1173575306
And so what if you want to be done now, with or without finances, you should get to decide the size of your family not them.
March 11th, 2007 at 01:36 am 1173576964
i do think that McDonalds comment or ones like it are rude and unwarrented... honestly, i don't mind if people ask but if they are rude or won't drop the subject that's a different matter...