Although I am not (yet) in crisis, sometimes I feel overwhelmed attempting to impose order and routine and to create a plan. I don't do the most obvious and elementary things like track spending. I don't schedule my time well enough to bake loaves of bread. I fear I have to take some steps backward, for example decluttering my kitchen and donating extra food or disposing waste, before springing for bulk containers to hold milk powder, flour, et cetera.

Sometimes I want to turf everything out and begin anew. Mostly I want to start new and healthier habits. I want to escalate my debt repayments and savings, and I don't think I can achieve adequate results without my family's participation or without a black belt in family budgeting and scheduling (preferably a working mother, not a 'oh I do everything right and always have because I am so gifted to be born in an upper-middle class family and I am so perfect no partner will ever live up to my standards and I'll probably miss my childbearing years so I sit alone in front of the blue glow of my laptop screen posting on forums intended for people less perfect than I how I am so much better than they; I wonder if they will ever suspect how lonely and insecure I am and how I make little dolls out of dryer lint and scraps I find in the dumpster outside the strip mall's fabric store and name them after the international children I adopt through CARE or World Vision' type) sitting down with me over tea and cookies, going through expenses.

I want to know how to request statements of beneficiary appointments, or restate my beneficiaries for my accounts.

What brought this on? Reading that the average mortgage debt owed in 2004 for my current age group was only around $108682.

Bleah. If only I knew what one or three simple actions I should take immediately to make the rest of the actions simpler.
If only I knew what the ideal percentages for slush fund allocations should go to Home improvement, replacement car, Tokyo, college, Roth, and disability insurance.