So I thought I'd try the Dave Ramsey Baby Steps, starting on #4. Except I have some problems:
• My brother expects me to be in Osaka to see him get married next February

Partial Solution: go solo and save 60% in projected expenses. Do I really want to bring a seven-year-old with me on a lengthy flight? Or rationalize that a once-in-a-lifetime combination of seeing my only surviving sibling marry in a country/continent I've never visited is very worth getting into a bit of temporary debt

• I have planned to update my upstairs bathroom, and would prefer not to go into debt to do it

Partial Solution: get into the mindset of "it's not really debt if I put half down and pay the remainder within six months, knowing that I have four times the remainder in my emergency funds"

• Distribution of the cash flow would be optimized if I pushed as much money toward the Roth as I can before my current contract expires -- it doesn't offer me a 401(k) plan, whereas I am instantly eligible to participate in the next contract.

Partial Solution: Start contributing $150/week to Roth until contract starts, then start putting 10% in 401(k). With the first thousand deposited into the Roth, increment the percentage contributed to the 401(k) by 1, and cut the Roth IRA contribution down to $100. It's harder this year, getting that extra thousand. Also, according to two retirement calculators, one at choose to save, and the other at MSN Money, I DON'T have to save 15% of my pretax income. I need save only 9.46%, so that lets me maximize my Roth IRA and lower my 401(k) contributions to 9%. The 15% must be for people who are starting fresh, yet still expect to see Social Security.

• I have gone over my budget several times, and whereas many people in reasonably-priced cities might gasp and point fingers at what we pay for in Gloomtopia, it is a considerable challenge for the overscheduled and underorganized to knock down expenses by 10%. I have to wait for the cell phone contract to expire, cats to die, garden yields to increase, boy to mature out of requiring supervision. I might even have to cut down on my health regimen.

Dave Ramsey doesn't know my life. He doesn't know how haphazardly I've hopscotched along the retirement/pay off home/big childcare/college funding/home improvement/energy savings mosaic of financial planning. People don't get married a whole ocean away, don't buy homes so antiquated Lucy Ricardo and June Cleaver would feel right at home in because that's all they could comfortably afford (3x gross income, mtg pymt 25% of gross) at the time (which was two years after the very best time to purchase in the 1990s), don't develop life-threatening pregnancy complications that later rob them of their eyesight, don't save up for replacement items and landscaping and sustainability and inflation all at once.
They don't parachute into environments where bubbles are the norm, nor do what everyone else is doing because they don't know any better or haven't ever had disposable income before.

I don't like debt, maybe I don't loathe/hate/despise it as much as Ramsey does. Maybe I've dipped into the HELOC, gotten a vehicle loan at 2.9% APR. But I haven't intentionally missed a payment, nor carried a balance on my credit cards since 2002.

Maybe when it comes to improving the value of an asset or leveraging for a greater gain I put down my mace and shield and learn to love my liabilities. Or do what I can to increase my salary this year. That might mean stop volunteering at my son's school.

I fear the myriad of financial goals means making difficult choices, or learning to prioritize/plan down to the hour my money-saving healthful financial moves and household activities. Sometimes I feel enmeshed in a web of my own devising, only I had thought everything I did was a good idea at the time, or thought I was doing the best I could. No. Taking eleven years to complete Ramsey's baby step #3 of building four months of expenses because I was trying to do #2, #4, #5, and #6 all at once in a frantic race to catch up to the middle class is not doing the best I can. Even if my net worth went up thirty-six times in those eleven years.

Ratios to Aim For:
Assets: Liabilities 4:1
Liabilities: Liquid Assets 4:1

Where I am now:
Assets: Liabilities 3.75:1
Liabilities: Liquid Assets 4.66:1