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questions and personal matter chatter

February 6th, 2015 at 09:37 pm

Question:
I save $250 a month on one income in a Money Market Account that earns very little interest when its balance is below $10000. Right now it's at $9100. In four months its balance will be over $10100. In four months my car loan will be $7470. With $1730 coming back in one month (maybe).
I've made no secret of my antsiness to pay this loan off. It's only because I am aware of my impatience and my insecurity that'd result from exhausting my Money Market Account that I haven't taken the risk of paying half of the remainder loan and drawing from the Home Equity Line of Credit to remove the $282.21 monthly withdrawal from the car loan. Has anyone taken a similar risk and emerged okay?

Payday is today. I paid over half of the current credit card balance, put $10 toward the car loan. I can handle diminishing interest on my liabilities, but I can't handle diminishing rewarding experiences.

Question #2: I mailed our tax return on January 31. On February 3 we received our HSA statement of Distributions for the 2014 tax year. Do I need to make and mail in an amended return?

Question #3: When does the world even out or get better?
While I'm excruciatingly behind in my evolution into an always-mindful, always-correctly-perceiving, never-let-down-or-disappointed human being I am supposed to be by now, I have some questions.

Question #4:
Does it seem to you, if you are in an area that has building societies, caisses populaires, credit unions or reasonable facsimiles, that finding one with average satisfactory reviews is difficult? Some years ago one of my credit unions changed directorship, and many amenities disappeared: the biometric identifier for the safety deposit vault, a coin counter, advance notice that a safety deposit rental annual fee was due all went away. I see from Yelp.com that many people who've observed and undergone changes the merger of two credit unions has introduced, and were subject to bank-level fee schedules, have given the "merged" credit union downgrades (e.g. three stars to one). When I search for suitable replacement credit unions, they too have poor grades for convenience and surly staff.

I want a credit union with a safety deposit box, and secure unmediated-by-humans access to my rented box. I used to have one. I can't have one anymore, and I do not know the reasons why. There are four credit unions within a mile from my house, so I do not believe proximity is an issue.

----I'm okay with your stopping reading at this point-----

Personal Matter Chatter: What I learned about myself is that I don't like paying for an hour's parking and waiting in the rain for someone to show when she sends email forty-seven minutes after our arrival claiming to have left ten minutes after we arrived. I could have managed this rejection/slight better if I'd gone by myself instead of my family rearranging their schedules to come along. I would not have paid for parking: I'd have taken a bus, and perhaps would not have encountered stoplight delays as heavy traffic and cross-traffic making incomplete right turns block our progress. I would have gone home and had a frozen dinner. I could not have dinner at home as my spouse had an evening course at the community college. You may wonder how late we were, we were two minutes behind the estimated bus arrival, and thirteen minutes AHEAD of the time she claims to have left. The outside area is easily scouted within thirty seconds, it is 1200 square feet, and there's a cafe she could have gone into with wifi to let us know (I brought my phone). There is no doubt about where we were to meet. I do have doubt about her claimed departure time but I did not challenge this. She apologized and I am feeling too let down, overspent, and rejected to respond. I self-medicated with a KitKat bar.

I had not eaten dinner out for over a month and was looking forward to dining somewhere where I wouldn't have to look up at an overhead menu. We did dine somewhere with menus, and real glasses for water, and table service, and in my sulky mindlessness I've left my umbrella there. It is raining too much for me to get it today.

I feel by and large my expectations are unmet. I have been told, on here, my expectations are too high. I could adjust my behaviour and expectations if I had been told they are lopsided (i.e. "you just don't give enough", "you don't accept enough"), but a good deal of my introversion and hermiting comes from not knowing how to cope when the Golden Rule of "Do unto others" malfunctions, how to identify other people's triggers and anxieties and avoid them before awkwardness or tantrums begin, how to replace or improve upon what I've lost. I'm supposed to shrug off and be okay with no-shows--I succeed at doing so when explained schedule conflicts and emergencies are at cause--but it takes me a long time when I have only the discrepancies between their report and my observation.



I am going to experiment with "I'm perceiving, whether this is true or not, that you have some residual edginess today. What do I need to do for you not to take out your discomfiting feelings on me?" when I encounter surliness. I'm already experimenting with open, toothy grins when someone interacts with me so I don't take out my discomfiting feelings from a prior disappointment or let down on them.

7 Responses to “questions and personal matter chatter”

  1. Kiki Says:

    Sorry for the frustration with the meet up of your friend.

    As for paying off the car: I would not touch the MMA nor would I pay it off with ah HELOC. With the HELOC you are just trading debt: car payment to HELOC payment. You may pay less toward the HELOC and end up paying more interest on the car than you would initially. And it is putting a strain on the equity of your home. And you are putting the debt for a car onto your debt for a house - I don't think it is a good. idea. Just make extra payments, find snowflakes to put toward the car, take the 250 you put in the MMA and pay off the car faster but I would not HELOC or pull from savings to do it. My two cents.

  2. PauletteGoddard Says:

    Hi Kiki -- I've long suspected your reasoning is correct. Those are exactly the arguments I use to convince myself to continue to add little snowflakes where I can. I'm sure there are better uses for my brain real estate than fiddling with calculators and doing what-if scenarios. Thanks for sharing your good sense.

  3. Rachael777 Says:

    On your personal matter. you have a right to be upset (pissed). nothing needs to be said but take this into account for future meetings (or schedulings) is it worth your time? because what you have here is lack of respect . yOU can choose to be with folks that respect you. Folks that do notn repsect you will show that through their repeated actions and often it is not worth trying to 'explain how you feel' or how much of an '@#$" they are being or have been .. just treat YOURSELF with respect and move on. Hope this helps.

  4. LuckyRobin Says:

    I used EF savings to pay off the mortgage and felt it was worth it, but I don't know if I'd do it for a car.

  5. creditcardfree Says:

    I would not use that percentage of my emergency fund to pay off the car debt. I would however use 10-20% if I felt it was worth it. You likely would repay your EF back, which is similar to making the car payment. I know I got very antsy with the last $2K of our last vehicle loan, so I do understand.

  6. PauletteGoddard Says:

    Rachael777: Your input does help. I could and likely would benefit from putting effort into respecting myself. I'd in turn attract an equally considerate peer of a friend. Thanks!

    LuckyRobin: Thanks for your input. Someone I know has vowed to pay her car debt this year, and although I wouldn't go about paying mine the way she intends to pay hers, I did withdraw over half of my money market account funds for a down payment in 2012. That was close to replenished until my brother's passing. I've always paid in full for my vehicles or paid the loan in full within 24 months, so this term feels long to me.

    creditcardfree: Thanks for the understanding and the wisdom. I'm indeed antsy. but the antsiness does pass, and I have a slowly replenishing emergency fund. I must remind myself that I would have a long time to repent and kick myself mentally if I paid off my loan right now. I need to be mindful of additional uses for the money market account.

  7. rob62521 Says:

    I agree with those who said they wouldn't use the EF to pay off the car.

    Sorry about your waiting and your friend being late. It is frustrating and I know we have friends who are always late and although I expect it, I still don't like it.

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