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Balancing Thoughts, Cocooning Christmas

December 23rd, 2012 at 05:32 pm

I guess the debt collectors read the last post. I answered the phone, was very sweet and clear and polite with them and they were sweet and clear and polite back, answering my request for the company name and telling me they would remove my number. I guess they figured that the person who requests contact information for them but insists the person they're asking for has never had this phone number might be planning to send a Debt Validation letter. Really, the validation letter is a favour to them.

Sad irony: the one family who can stand us (we're bookish introvert rationalists on various points of the autism spectrum -- i.e., socially awkward wackos) is avoiding debt collectors: they have changed their e-mails and phone numbers. I mailed them twice with our e-mail addresses and phone numbers, but they have not taken these cues to contact us -- was I too subtle?

I am sad that I live in a culture where apparently I can't appreciate and celebrate what I do have in common, other than genetic material, with relatives, but instead be grateful for loneliness and isolation as an alternative to hearing racist jokes (my niece and nephews are ALL biracial: our kid happens to be the only white one and he's the only one with recognized dual citizen status), or anti-immigrant rants (hey, I am an immigrant, why are you saying they are bad?) or treatises on how more violence will help to curb violence.

Why do families have to act tribal and cast out people who've had unique experiences? I am not talking about addictions, criminal history or sexual perversions, but experiences like trying out a different church, or growing up in a broken home, or growing up urban or rural, or moving to another country, or living without television.

I did have some great conversations with non-relatives today, about holidays and noncontroversial subjects. For that, as a positive experience to build against the daily shelling of social anxiety, I am grateful.

Grateful to have the opportunity to drive to my home country for a day to renew my passport.

Grateful to come across the expression: "'It's the end of life as we know it' said the caterpillar; 'it's the beginning of life as we know it' said the butterfly."

The spouse received an Odd Lot Buyback solicitation for his old employer's stock. He is considering selling to apply $$ toward the car debt. I may liquidate a stock of a company I don't much like for the same reason, or to help spruce up the house.

Bonus Question: Did I miss a widget or scripting hack to prevent the Chinese F*M*L*-----.com spammer comments?

8 Responses to “Balancing Thoughts, Cocooning Christmas”

  1. NJDebbie Says:

    You should be a professional writer or are you? I bet you would sell lots of books.

  2. PauletteGoddard Says:

    @NJDebbie Your compliment is a sweet surprise, thank you! I have not been paid for article writing, but I used to write a new media column in a defunct Western Canada magazine, and had some tech contracts where writing was a daily duty.

  3. Thrifty Ray Says:

    I always enjoy your perspective and your posts. I agree with NJDebbie- you are amazing at writing a point of view.

    I dont understand why some people choose to be so narrow minded when there are so many spectrums in life to enjoy. I havent noticed the CHinese F M L....so IM not sure.

  4. Homebody Says:

    I have noticed the spammer maybe they gave up. I am sorry your family is so narrow minded. Unfortunately DH's is the same, only opposite. We are the ones who do not bring up politics and they do to bait us.

    I actually had a BIL and my husband's uncle poking my chest discussing economics when I was taking an economics class, because they did not agree with it politically. I was speaking about economic theory, not politics. Then my SIL and her husband, whom my husband and I have helped out greatly financially in the past year, decided to bring up Benghazi and said something horrible to my husband about Afghanistan knowing our son-in-law is deploying soon. My husband got up and left, was supposed to spend the night on his way down to spend Thanksgiving with said son-in-law, our daughter and granddaughter. DH is the one who decided to leave and not let things escalate. Unfortunately alcohol was involved, which always makes things worse.

    There used to be a rule to not discuss politics, religion and money....well maybe we should all keep it to just money!!

  5. Petunia 100 Says:

    I'd choose loneliness over racist rants about immigrants, too.

    I always enjoy your posts too, even though I usually feel I failed to grasp all of your meaning. Smile

  6. Carolina Bound Says:

    I am sorry about the narrow-mindedness in your family. I have suffered some of this, too, but it seems to be getting better as the older ones die off. Morbid, but true. I have had a few lonely Christmases, too, but they were more enjoyable than the maddening ones.

  7. rob62521 Says:

    There is something about families that can make holidays so stressful, especially when they are so narrow minded. I used to dread the holidays.

  8. PauletteGoddard Says:

    Thanks all. I used to think that the relatives who said narrow-minded and hurtful things did so because family gatherings seemed safe places to air those opinions, with the assumption everyone else thought those things too. But as we have shared, family members will say narrow-minded things to our faces with the full knowledge that they apply to their immediate audience. I don't think that's what Christmas is all about.

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